Dissolution

Hey! You say-
I’ve got a lovely idea.
Envision this beautiful future-
And I can see it, sugar-crusted, a sunny day
A couple of curly haired kids
Swings, laundry, laughter, tears
We want it all, we say
Diapers, long nights, a mortgage
A house- with stairs, a new fridge,
Washer and dryer on the main floor
I want you -  you said.

We say all that, but here we go
Horrible messy monsters
We flail, flop, fuck a little
Talk too much probably
Share our feelings and hurt the other
Share the hurt and wound again
Honey bubbled future crusts over, flakes

I should be careful when I really want someone
That I don’t mistake the person for someone else
Another me, a better monster
A kinder family than the one I can from.